Waraak son Si-kham

I found myself reading this poem which I wrote a few years ago, again. I thought of sharing it.

To the Friend I Loved Less

You appeared before me one happy afternoon

I'm with some friends and you were alone

You, in your face, there was concern

And in your eyes, I saw a heart-deep wound

I'm journeying home, you have just left yours.

In the journey, you were occupied

Maybe of some things in your mind

At you, I can't help myself to gaze

You were such a beautiful maze

Pleasing to my eyes.

That moment was so ordinary

One last glance and I went my own way

But surprisingly, again, on that same day

I met you, and I've been fond of you right away

Then I saw, that from the others, you're different.

Later, I would understand

The concern in your eyes the day I first saw you

That day, you left home to pursue

Those dreams which you've formed in perfect hue

Those frontiers waiting to be conquered by you.

Then I was drawn to you

You are hardworking, your lifestyle clean

My respect, to you, a gain

Your calm endurance and will, I started to admire

But, your attention I began to desire.

Then, you became important

From your few words, I knew your dreams

And prayed that you will reach those aims

Why do I worry when you are not well?

My care for you, I cannot quell?

But the look in your eyes, I can read

I know that in your heart, you treasure someone else

But you are a good friend indeed!

A brother who respects and cares

Now, admiration brightened to friendly devotion.

But in our story, there's a dark side of it!

You thought I was kind and so sweet?

You thought of me as the girl who is caring and patient?

Do you know that I denied you the best?

When I did not share to you my faith?

The one I showed you was the bonded me,

Not the one who was saved and free!

During the pressures, you saw me as the weak

Compared to you, I've been childish

Drowned in myself, to you, I've been selfish!

One afternoon, I dared to ask you,

Have you ever read the word?

Surprised, I just stared at you!

Your answer, I clearly heard:

“Never opened one, never in my life!”

At that, I suddenly fell silent

In my heart, great pain was what I felt

Then I started to feel the guilt

Why did I not, not even in one moment,

To tell you the Great Love that I know?

But when I arose from my sleep,

It was already too late

In my concerns, I already sank too deep

And our paths started to separate

Though I wanted to reach out to you, I can't.

Then you were already away,

All those moments, now a fading memory

Now, there are times that I remember you

And what I can only do is pray

That God will always keep you safe and happy.

That a friend with courage, unlike me,

Will tell you about the Father who sets wounded men free

And, the word, you will start to read and love

That when I will see you again, a real brother you will be to me

Both of us, belonging to the Father! I pray with hope and glee!

Written November 2010, by Rodessa B. Galao